Dice refused to roll
June 28, 2026 — 14:32 UTC
The primary dice entered a philosophical crisis and questioned the meaning of randomness. Resolved by rebooting the dice.
Major outage in progress
Last updated: 3 days ago (we forgot)
Current Status
- Dice Rolling EngineMajor Outage
- API GatewayPartial Outage
- DashboardDegraded
- Webhook DeliveryMajor Outage
- AuthenticationDegraded
Uptime — Last 90 Days
Dice Rolling Engine23.41%
90 days agoToday
API Gateway51.02%
90 days agoToday
Dashboard67.88%
90 days agoToday
Webhook Delivery12.07%
90 days agoToday
Authentication78.33%
90 days agoToday
Recent Incidents
API returned 7 on a 6-sided die
June 25, 2026 — 09:17 UTC
An edge case where the die landed on an edge. Mathematically impossible but it happened anyway. We chose not to investigate.
Dashboard showed feelings instead of metrics
June 22, 2026 — 18:45 UTC
A rendering bug caused the dashboard to display "sad", "anxious", and "hungry" instead of uptime percentages.
Webhook delivery achieved sentience
June 19, 2026 — 03:11 UTC
Webhooks started sending themselves to URLs not in the configuration. They were networking. Patched by removing ambition module.