Changelog
Every roll matters. Here's what changed.
Cut the corners
Dices are now spheres. Rounder rolls, faster decisions, zero predictability.
- Removed all corners from all dices
- Added "corner tolerance" slider (does nothing)
- Fixed bug where dices occasionally demanded lunch
Added gravity
Dices now fall down instead of hovering menacingly.
- Implemented physics engine (borrowed from a 2007 Flash game)
- Dices no longer float into the ceiling during standups
Taught dices to say "synergy"
- Added vocabulary module with 1 word
- Dices now pass all management interviews
Introduced the re-roll button
For when the first roll is too honest.
- Added re-roll with exponential backoff (of morale)
- Re-roll now costs $0.02 per attempt on the free tier
SLA-ish uptime guarantee
- Dices promise to be available "most of the time"
- Added a status page that always says "Operational"
- Removed the status page when it wasn't operational
Deployed the first dice to production
It rolled a 2. We shipped it anyway.
- Added deploy pipeline (a human throwing the dice at a server)
- First customer filed a bug report: "the dice is just sitting there"
Added the dots
Dices now have numbers on them. Controversial decision internally.
- Applied pips using a Sharpie
- Debated for 3 sprints whether to use dots or digits
- Settled on dots because "it's more enterprise"
Gave the dices a meeting room
- Dices now have a dedicated Zoom link
- They never join but the link exists
Painted the dices
Design review approved. White, purple, black. Very SaaS.
- Applied base coat (acrylic, non-toxic, probably)
- Purple die promoted to "Pro" tier based on vibes alone
Manufactured dices
The journey begins. Six sides. Infinite potential. Zero employees harmed.
- Sourced raw cube material from undisclosed warehouse
- Quality assurance: held the dice, felt good
- Named the company Diceify during a coin flip (ironic)